Mystery Moments
by Chelxx96
Summary: A series of random one shots showing the love and life of Nymphadora Tonks and Remus Lupin. Their love was a mystery but a beautiful mystery nonetheless and this story shows moments that we didn t get to see in the books.. RL/NT Slightly AU.
1. Jealous

**_November 1996_**

¨ Who is she? And what is she doing here? Isn´t this location supposed to be top secret?¨ Asked Nymphadora Tonks obviously irritated motioning to the mysterious beautiful brunette who was talking with Remus Lupin at the table and laughing merrily while touching his arm whenever he said something funny. Anyone with eyes could see that she was flirting. With _her_ Remus.

¨Jealous aren´t we? Remus always liked the feisty ones¨ said Sirius mockingly while waggling his eyebrows and giving her the trademark Black smirk.

¨Spare me the thoughts about former lovers Sirius. Who is she!?¨

¨That , my darling cousin, is Genevieve Dubois. An old good friend of me and Remus who is fiercely loyal to Dumbledore. She´s not in the Order officially because she lives in France but she´s always ready to help us with our cause if needed.¨ Sirius answered with a mischievous gleam in his eyes, conveniently forgetting to mention that Genevieve´s _husband _also helped the Order. He was enjoying Tonks bitter mood and Remus obvious discomfort after noticing Tonks´glares toward the woman.

Great. She had to be French, of all the woman who could be interested in Remus she had to be a French one. And beautiful too. Of course Tonks could make herself look far more beautiful than the French woman sitting at the table but it wouldn´t really be Tonks, would it?

¨And how come you and Remus know her if she lives in France? And why aren´t you with her if she´s your friend too?¨ asked Tonks glaring suspiciously at Sirius.

¨ She studied at Hogwarts for two years while her mother was doing some research in Scotland. And she and Moony always got along better. I think they dated back then but I´m not sure, Moony never was the type to kiss and tell¨ The last piece of information was completely unnecessary but Sirius couldn´t help it, he was enjoying this too much and he had nothing else to do.

Meanwhile at the table Remus was shaking his head at Sirius antics having heard the conversation thanks to his werewolf hearing.

¨She´s pretty. You hit the jackpot, mate¨ said Genevieve while signaling to Tonks with her eyes.

¨How did you know?¨ Asked Remus bewildered.

¨Easy. If looks could kill I´d be six feet underground¨ chuckled Genevieve.

Remus couldn´t help but laugh at her comment. It was obvious that Tonks was jealous. She had been throwing daggers with her eyes since the moment she entered the kitchen and saw Genevieve talking with Remus. From the corner of his eyes he noticed Tonks leaving the kitchen with an angry expression but hurt in her eyes. He excused himself and followed her.

¨Nymphadora¨ Tonks heard him softly saying her name. That hideous name that sounded so beautiful coming from his soft lips.

¨Remembered I existed, huh?¨ she asked with as much sarcasm as she could but she couldn´t hide the hurt tone in her voice.

Remus approached her carefully and softly cradled her face with his hands. He lifted her face and smiled softly before planting a sweet kiss on her lips.

¨ The only thing my mind does is remind me of your existence, my love. I noticed you as soon as you entered the room but you engaged yourself in a conversation with Sirius¨

¨Only because you were talking with _her_. I didn´t want to interrupt your conversation, you seemed to be enjoying yourself¨ Tonks started staring at the floor while saying this.

Remus chuckled lightly and put his hands tenderly on her hips, Tonks lifted her gaze to meet his and lifted an eyebrow.

¨There is no need to be jealous m´dear. Genevieve is happily married and with two kids and I am madly in love with a certain possessive Metamorphmagi Auror¨ he said lovingly.

Tonks groaned and put her forehead on Remus chest. Damn Sirius and his mischievous plan, she had made a fool of herself in front of the woman. A married woman. Happily married to add further insult to the injury.

¨I´m so sorry. I blame it all on Sirius. He manipulated my innocent mind into thinking jealous and illogical thoughts¨

Remus chuckled lightly and kissed her on the nose.

¨Dora? Please change your hair back. I prefer you in pink¨ he said while caressing her cheek.

Tonks looked at him questioningly and touched her hair looking down at it. It had transformed unconsciously to a shade of brown that looked a lot like Genevieve´s hair. She blushed slightly and morphed her hair back to her usual bubblegum pink.

Remus smiled and drew her closer and kissed her softly on the lips. Tonks deepened the kiss smiling.

Yes, she could be far more beautiful if she wished to do so. But Remus made her feel beautiful regardless of what she morphed into.


	2. Understanding

**_November 1997_**

Remus was sitting at the kitchen table in Andromeda Tonks house, staring at his cup of tea. Andromeda was upstairs checking on Dora who had closed herself in her room after a half hour of screaming and two slaps after Remus return. He didn´t blame her, he deserved far worse. For being a coward, like Harry had angrily put it.

¨ She fell asleep. I don´t think she´ll be waking up anytime soon¨ said Andromeda while entering the kitchen.

¨ Don´t worry Remus. She´s going to be all right and she´ll forgive you. She needs time to think but I have no doubts in her forgiving you. She loves you too much¨ said Andromeda while putting a comforting hand on Remus´ hand. She gave him a reassuring smile and Remus couldn´t help but feel guitly.

¨ I really don´t understand you Andromeda. Shouldn´t you hate me? I´ve caused your daughter so much pain and discomfort. No mother wants to see her child like that.¨

¨ It would be very hypocrite of me to hate you Remus¨ the werewolf raised an eyebrow at her for this and she continued ¨ I completely understand you actions Remus. Of course I was mad when you left Dora, heartbroken and pregnant, but then I started seeing everything from your perspective. A perspective that once used to be mine. You see, when I discovered that I was pregnant with Nymphadora the war was just starting. It was obvious that my own family, the family that had disowned me for marrying my unborn child´s father, was standing on the wrong side of the war. The opposite side of me. And the descendants of the The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black know how to hold a grudge especially my sister Bellatrix. ¨ Remus snorted at this, Bellatrix was an expert at holding grudges especially family ones.

¨ I was scared, Remus. My own family wanted me and my husband dead and I could live with that, after all it was my own decision that caused such reaction in them. But they would have wanted my unborn child dead too. And how unfair would that be Remus! Submitting an innocent child to such fate. I felt guilty and scared and it was with such thoughts that I decided on an abortion¨ Andromeda looked lost in thought while saying this and Remus was glad that the older women didn´t see his shocked expression.

¨ Everything was done. I had an appointment at St. Mungo´s and the decision was made. But it was _my _decision Remus. I didn´t tell Ted, he didn´t even know I was pregnant. So imagine his surprise when they called from St. Mungo´s to verify the appointment and he answered the Floo Call. He was furious and hurt. We had a huge row and said things, things we didn´t mean. Eventually we talked it out, and after many tears and sleepless nights we both decided on keeping the baby. Eight months later our baby girl was born and I had never been happier. It wasn´t easy, I´ll admit that. The constant worrying and looking over my shoulder, but how could I regret bringing such an amazing and beautiful miracle on this world? She made the world, that in those times was dark and dangerous, a better brighter place. And she continues doing that, not only for me and Ted but also for you Remus¨ Andromeda smiled at him with tears in her eyes and a small smile. Remus knew she was thinking of Ted, who was on the run since last week.

¨ Thank you Andromeda, you don´t know how much it means to me to have your support. And let me assure you that from now on I will do everything in my power to make Nymphadora happy¨

¨I know Remus. I have no doubts about that, I´ve learned my lesson. And let me apologize for my rude behavior towards you when we met¨ said Andromeda apologetic.

¨ It was completely understandable Andromeda. No mother would want her daughter to be with an old dangerous werewolf¨ answered Remus ruefully.

¨ True. But all a mother wants is to see their children happy. And Nymphadora has never been happier since she met you¨ Andromeda rose from her chair and surprised Lupin by enveloping him in a warm hug and whispering ¨Thank you for making my daughter happy Remus¨.

She then proceeded to lead him to the sitting room and motioned to the couch. ¨ I´ll bring some blankets and a pillow for you. I´m afraid it´s the best sleeping place I have to offer you¨

¨It´s better than what I´ve had lately. I´m sure I will manage to sleep comfortably¨ Lupin gave her a reassuring smile as his mother in law started to climb the stairs.

A few hours of restless sleep on the couch and Remus Lupin found himself being shaken awake by his beautiful wife. Nymphadora Lupin was standing right next to him enveloped by darkness and Remus happily noted that she was wearing one of his t-shirts under which you could see a small bump.

¨Remus? Are you awake?¨ asked Tonks shyly.

Remus stood up into a sitting position and drawed her near to sit on his lap, Tonks hid her face in the crook of his neck and softly started sobbing.

¨ I had a nightmare. Bellatrix, she- And then you- I couldn´t - Baby.. Dad.. It was awful, Remus. I´ve never been more scared¨ Remus could barely hear her between her sobs but he understood enough. He was rubbing softly on her back and reassuring her with soothing words.

She stopped crying and after a long silence he realized that she had fallen asleep, he cradled her in his arms and stood to climb the stairs and put her back in her bad. Their bed.

He made sure to put her down softly on the bed so she wouldn´t wake up. She stirred and took his hand firmly in hers but didn´t wake up. Remus knelt down next to the bed with one hand holding her hand and the other touching her baby bump softly.

The next morning Tonks woke up to find her husband sitting on the ground with one hand on her stomach and his head on the mattress and snoring lightly. She smiled and knew right there and then that she had forgiven him.


	3. Assurance

**_April 1998_**

He was sitting in the rocking chair with a small blue bundle in his arms. Tears were running freely down his cheeks and he had a small watery smile on his face. His wife was standing in the doorway watching as he held their son. Their little bundle of joy. Joy and hope, something that they had almost lost in the darkness of the war. Something he barely had had in the darkness of his life. The baby shifted in his sleep and changed his turquoise hair into a sandy brown. His father´s hair color. More tears fell down.

He had a son. He, Remus John Lupin had a son. An unemployed werewolf had a son and a wife. A beautiful, loyal, loving, fierce, strong wife. Everything he had ever dreamed of, was now his and he couldn´t help but fear that one day it would be taken away from him. Just like his friends had been taken away from him.

How he wished them to be there by his side, celebrating the birth of a new Marauder. But they were all dead. All of them, even Peter who had betrayed them all. He was the last Marauder and by thinking that loneliness overcame him. He suddenly felt his wife gripping his shoulder softly as if she knew what he was thinking. No, he wasn´t alone. He had his wife and now he had a son too.

¨He looks like you¨ whispered Tonks softly. She was caressing Teddy´s little chubby cheeks but was watching her husband.

¨Nonsense Dora, he looks like you. A true Black and it doesn´t really matter does it? He´s a Metamorphmagus, he can look like whoever he wants too. I feel left out¨ chuckled Remus while eyeing both is wife and son.

¨He may be a Metamorphmagus but he doesn´t hold his morphing for long and he looks like you Remus. Even Mum agrees with me, you may give up now. And put Teddy in his crib, I´m starting to get jealous¨

Remus sniggered but stood up obediently and put his son down on his crib; he gave him a light kiss on his forehead and followed his wife out of the nursery and into their room. She was already stripping down and putting on his pajamas. She always left the bottoms for him to wear and she´d use the upper half. She climbed in bed and Remus went to brush his teeth. He suspected that she´d be asleep when he was finished. He was surprised to find her wide awake and waiting for him, he climbed in bed next to her with a confused frown. He pulled her next to him and draped an arm around her, she snuggled into him and put her head on his chest.

Normally they´d fall asleep like that but Remus noticed that something was bothering his wife. He thought she´d tell him by now but she seemed to be battling on to how.

¨Love? Is there something wrong¨ asked Remus worriedly.

¨ He´s going to be eight weeks old soon¨ whispered Tonks almost to herself with a sigh¨

Remus couldn´t explain how but he knew that eight weeks were not some random quantity of weeks, they had a meaning. But for the life of him he couldn´t remember what it meant.

¨The- The Healer said we should wait eight weeks¨ whispered Tonks before hiding her face in the crook of his neck.

Realization dawned on Remus. There was a pregnant silence. He had absolutely no idea what to say. Sirius and James would have made fun of him, he had a wife and a son and still didn´t know how to discuss his sex life. With his _wife_ nonetheless.

¨ Remus? Do you- Do you still find me attractive? I mean.. After giving birth and having these awful stretch marks and gaining a few pounds and - ¨ But Tonks couldn´t finish her long list of post pregnancy body complaints for her husband had cleverly interrupted her with a kiss.

¨ Never, in all my life have I seen any woman more beautiful than you are now Dora. You are gorgeous and even more after giving birth to our son. You radiate beauty and love and wear the marks of bringing a miracle to the world. Our little miracle, Dora. Of course I find you attractive love. In fact it´s hard for me to control myself and not devour you completely every time I see you¨ Tonks couldn´t help but giggle at hearing her husband´s words being whispered huskily into her ear. She smiled sweetly and kissed him softly.

¨ I always knew marrying you was a smart thing to do. Best choice I´ve ever done. I love you Remus¨

¨ Don´t make me blush Nymphadora. I love you too my dear. You and Teddy are my life¨ whispered Remus while tightening his hold on her.


	4. Breaking Point

**_June 1997_**

Nymphadora Tonks watched as Remus Lupin stood up from his chair and left the Hospital Wing right after Professor McGonagall and Harry Potter left it previously. She followed him with her eyes and emitted a sigh when he was out of her sight. She heard Molly Weasley coughing and turned to see the loving mother of seven motioning her to the door. Tonks understood immediately and bolted out of the room after Remus.

¨REMUS!¨

He was standing in the hall talking to a very grim and sad looking Kingsley when she spotted him.

He whirled around to face her and let out a defeated sigh. He looked tired and older and there was a defeated aura surrounding him. ¨ Nymphadora. Not now please. The discussion is over, there´s nothing left to be said¨

¨ No Remus, you may have nothing left to say but I have a bunch of things to say. This discussion is far from over!¨ There were tears forming in her eyes but she had a aura of defiance that left no questioning as to how strong and stubborn this woman was.

¨ Nymphadora, there´s no time for this right now. I- I can´t. I just can´t. Kingsley and I have some business to attend to¨ he responded with a pleading tone and a exasperated sigh.

¨Then I´ll wait for you. And if you try to run and hide I´ll follow and find you. I´m an Auror after all¨ she answered stubbornly.

He shook his head and turned to look at Kingsley who was watching the whole scene with an amused smile and eyebrows raised. Lupin took a resigned sigh and proceeded to take a piece of parchment out of his robes followed by a quill. Tonks raised one eyebrow questioningly and proceeded to watch with a confused face as he scribbled down something on the parchment.

¨Remus? What -¨ she started to ask him but he interrupted her by thrusting the piece of parchment in her hands. She looked down at the parchment where – written in his elegant scrawl – he had left her a message and address.

**_The house of Remus John Lupin - Seven Seas Cottage – may be found at number seven, Cliffside Town, Devon._**

**_Wait for me there, I may be late. Get comfortable and feel yourself at home._**

She looked bewildered up to find that Lupin and Kingsley where nowhere to be found. She memorized the address and started leaving the castle. She kept looking down at the message and burned it after realizing that – just like Grimmauld place- Remus´ house was under the Fidelius Charm. She wondered who was Secret Keeper and then realized that she didn´t even know that he had a house before that night. Did she know so _little _of him?

She shook her head and analyzed her surroundings. She was no longer on Hogwarts grounds and she had no idea how she got there. Had she been so far gone in her thoughts?

Number seven, Cliffside Town, Devon. Should she go? He had given her his address; he had given her the opportunity to talk, to fix the whole ordeal of her chasing after him and him rejecting her over and over again. So why, after all she had done the past year, was she not there already? What was she afraid of?

Rejection. As ridiculous as that sounded she was afraid of being rejected, _again_. Because she had been rejected so many times by him this past year that she didn´t think she could handle more. She was beyond broken because of loving him and yet she needed to love him because that was the only thing keeping her _sane_ in this war. Especially now that Dumbledore, their hope and leader, was gone.

She wiped the traitorous tears that had fallen from her eyes and Apparated away. Number seven, Cliffside Town, Devon. In front of her stood an old but beautiful quaint little cottage – Seven Seas Cottage - if she had Apparated six foot further she would have fallen from the cliffs that were near the house. She could feel the sea wind on her face and felt herself relaxing. It was a beautiful place to live. She had always wanted to live near the sea but not near the beach, sand always irked her.

She turned to look at the house and approached it cautiously, she felt rather than saw the protective wards around the house and was shocked when they let her trough. She approached the door and realized that she didn´t have any key and she didn´t think that _Alohomora_ would work on it. She merely touched the door handle when the door flew open letting her in.

There was an aura in the little cottage that just screamed _home_ to her even if she had never set foot there before. The living room was small but cozy with pictures on the mantelpiece and matching curtains and furniture, there were three bookcases full with books and an old gramophone in a corner. In another corner she saw a rocking chair that looked as if it had been passed down by multiple generations.

She approached the pictures on the mantelpiece and saw a little boy with sandy brown hair and no scars on his face waving at her. He looked around four and Tonks realized that she was looking at Lupin _before _he was bitten by Greyback. He was simply adorable and cute, and so innocent that Tonks felt a fury well inside of her at the injustice of it all. That little boy had had a beautiful promising future before him, a future that had been ruined by a vile horrible monster. Next to the boy´s picture was a picture of a couple on their wedding day. The woman had dark brown hair that framed her hair in loose curl and bright blue eyes just like her son´s. She was practically glowing while she smiled and waved at the camera. Her husband had sandy brown hair just like his son and startling green eyes with a hint of brown. Tonks analyzed Remus´parents picture and realized that he was the perfect combination of his parents.

He has his father´s sandy brown hair and his cheekbones. You could also see John Lupin´s features in Remus´ ears and nose. But the shape of his face, his smile and his eyes were all Elizabeth Lupin´s. Next to the wedding picture was a picture of four young boys who looked around twelve. They were standing in front of the cliffs that she now knew where just outside the Lupin´s house and were waving at the camera with sheepish grins. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs. The Marauders in their glory days. The days where war was just a whisper and evil just something that was starting to come out of a fairy tale. They looked so young and innocent and Tonks couldn´t help the tears that flowed freely down her face.

Two of them were dead, they died protecting a boy who had lost his innocence after witnessing too much evil and too much injustice, one of them was now a traitor, who had betrayed his friends by putting that same boy in mortal peril and the last Marauder, Moony, was balancing precariously between life and death by putting his life on the line to protect the same boy. He, just like Padfoot and Prongs, was willing to die for Harry.

Wiping the tears away Tonks lifted the last picture up for closer examination. In this picture there were six teenagers. Three boys and three girls were in front of the Black Lake at Hogwarts. All looked like seventeen year olds and Tonks assumed that they were in their last year of school. With a shock Tonks realized that all of them had been in the first Order of the Phoenix. And only one of them was alive.

James Potter was the spitting image of his son Harry; he had unruly black hair just like Harry and the same face and body posture. Only two features were different, James´ warm hazel eyes and mischievous smirk. He was leaning against a tree with an arm around his then girlfriend Lily Evans and she was leaning against him. Lily Evans was laughing and Tonks could see tears of mirth in her emerald eyes and how the light glistened of her flaming red hair as she swished it.

Next to them sitting in front of a rock with his back leaning on it was young and very handsome Remus Lupin. A girl that Tonks recognized as Dorcas Meadowes, was sitting next to him and her head was nestled on his shoulder while they laughed. Tonks couldn´t help but feel jealous when she saw that they were holding hands. She hadn´t known that Remus had dated Dorcas, not that it mattered now that she was dead. She had been murdered personally by Voldemort if Tonks recalled correctly. Remus still had sandy brown hair like on the first picture but now he had the scars on his face that she knew. He still managed to look extremely good looking and Tonks had to admit that the scars only made him sexier. Dorcas Meadowes had long jet black hair that reached the middle of her waist and was combed into a long elegant braid while she smiled beautifully. Her soft brown eyes were watching Tonks as she laughed merrily at Sirius antics.

Sirius. He looked terribly young as he stood in the middle of the two couples impersonating something or someone while Marlene McKinnon tried to stop him while attempting to hold down her laugh. She had been a beautiful witch, blonde curly hair and blue twinkling eyes flashed at the camera. And Sirius, he had been so handsome and so full of life. Here was the boy that she had seen glimpses of on Sirius´s face. But only vague glimpses seeing as the horror of Azkaban and the dead of his best friends had destroyed that boy. In the picture Sirius proceeded to kiss Marlene while she was scolding him and winked at the camera while the others just laughed and Dorcas kissed Remus on the cheek.

There was no room for jealous thoughts for Tonks as she looked away from the picture. From the six occupants of the picture only Remus was alive now. Marlene had been killed along with her whole family in the summer of 1981 to be followed by Dorcas and the Potters. Years later Sirius Black faced the same fate as them and left Lupin as the last one standing.

Willing those depressing thoughts to go away Tonks entered the little kitchen in which Tonks now knew Mrs. Lupin had cooked for her son and husband for many years before her death. The kitchen was painted a soft blue color like the sea and felt very homey. Tonks´eyes took everything hungrily in, she hoped that by watching every detail of his childhood home she could understand Lupin better.

She climbed up the stairs and entered the master bedroom. Once it was his parents´ bedroom now it belonged to Remus Lupin and she could see traces of him everywhere.

_Get comfortable and feel yourself at home. _She remembered the words he had written on the piece of parchment for her. Feel yourself at home. It wasn´t something hard to do, she had felt at home as soon as she entered the little cottage. And now, standing in his bedroom she yearned for it to be _their _bedroom_. _She yearned for nights spent downstairs in the cozy living room with him trying to read a book and her being the reason why he was trying to read it and not reading it. She yearned for lunches being eaten on the kitchen table, lunches that he had cooked because for the life of her she couldn´t cook and they´d only end up laughing at her attempts to cook. But most of all, she yearned of mornings waking up on the bed in front her with his arms around her.

Seeing the bed only made her realize how tired she was and how much she just wanted to sleep and feel nothing. Dumbledore´s dead and Bill´s mauling only made the war more real, more tangible and more personal. She eyed her clothing warily and then eyed his wardrobe. He had said to feel at home and it was no secret that she didn´t sleep with normal clothes at home so her following actions were completely justified.

Tonks giggled as she opened his wardrobe and eyed his clothing looking for something to sleep on. She eyed a soft blue camisole and wondered if he would get mad if she used it. She shrugged and started stripping out of her clothes. When she was left standing there in only her knickers she proceeded to put the camisole on and climbing into his bed. She inhaled deeply and felt in heaven, she was surrounded by his smell. That smell of musk, chocolate and old books that screamed Remus Lupin to her. This was her personal heaven.

She glanced at the clock and realized that two hours had passed since Remus had given her the piece of parchment. He had said he´d be late, but she felt as if he was taking too long. She was afraid of getting to comfortable and falling asleep but she was too tired. She fell into a dreamless sleep in less than five minutes.

_**To be continued...**_


	5. Breaking Point Pt II

**A/N: ´Loo there! Here´s part two to Breaking Point. I´m sorry for the wait but I had a slight writer´s block with this chapter. I knew exactly what I wanted to write but I just couldn´t put it into words. Ever had that? It sucks. Anyway.. Enjoy this chapter and I´ll meet you at the end (: **

**xx Dark Orchiid**

_**June 1997**_

She could feel him watching her. She didn´t need to open her eyes to know that he was there. The butterflies in her stomach and the slight hitch of her breath were enough for her to know that he had entered the room. She was lying on her stomach with her mousy brown hair sprawled across her back and face. She felt the dip on the bed when he sat down next to her.

Minutes passed by with her pretending to be asleep and him watching her do that. Tonks had to control herself when she felt his rough calloused hand skimming her arm softly in an uttermost adoring gesture. His actions were only proof of what she firmly believed in. He loved her. Werewolf or not, Remus Lupin loved her and she´d be damned if she let him get his way of them not being together.

She slowly turned around and opened her eyes to look at his face. Lupin´s eyes widened slightly when he saw that she was actually awake. He moistened his lips and just looked at her. Nymphadora Tonks was lying on his bed looking like an angel. Brown hair sprawled around her, twinkling dark eyes, rosy lips and porcelain skin. She looked just like a beautiful water nymph that had just awoken.

He was so immersed in her beauty that he didn´t notice her flickering gaze to his lips and the resolve planted in her eyes when she grabbed his neck and pulled him down to her for a passionate kiss.

She tried pouring all of her love into the kiss, show him how much she loved him, how much she needed him and maybe just maybe words wouldn´t be necessary. But he was so stubborn he didn´t let himself understand, didn´t let himself feel the love pouring from her into him. He drew back and gasped and in one sudden motion he was standing next to the bed rather than sitting on it.

¨Damn it, Remus!¨ Tonks cursed as she sat up on the bed and glared at him.

¨ Nymphadora, we can´t do this. I refuse to damn you to a life full of prejudice and hate. You deserve better than this, better than me.¨ Regret accentuated every single one of his words as he spoke and this only made Tonks love him more.

¨ I deserve to be loved Remus. I deserve to be happy and no one makes me happier than you. No one can love me better than you.¨

¨Anyone could make you happier than me Nymphadora. I am a werewolf, a _Dark Creature_; unemployed and heavily ostracized everywhere I go. Can you imagine what people will say if they were to know that you are romantically involved with a werewolf? A werewolf thirteen years your _senior_ no less.

¨Is that what matters to you Remus? What people think? Should I go around believing what people say? Should I believe that Harry Potter is The Boy Who Lied? That Dumbledore was a senile old man that didn´t know nothing and was just going after Fudge´s power?¨

¨Of course not! Those are completely different cases from mine Nymphadora¨

¨Those cases are exactly the same as yours. People are scared to believe in good, to hope. They see Harry and don´t want to put they´re hope in a sixteen year old kid. They saw Dumbledore and didn´t want to see a powerful wizard who had lived more than a century. They see you and they prefer seeing Remus Lupin, the werewolf, rather than seeing the man. The wonderful, kind, loving, sweet, compassionate, brave man that is capable of loving like everyone else. The man that I love¨

¨You shouldn´t. You shouldn´t love me Nymphadora. You don´t know me- You- I¨ Remus Lupin seemed lost for words for the second time in one day.

¨But I do Remus. I love you. And I know that I don´t really know you. After being in this house I have realized that I don´t know everything of you. And yet I love what little I know of you and I want to know everything about you. And I know that I will love every bit of you that I will learn to know, if only you´d open up to me.¨

¨You can´t love something you don´t completely know Nymphadora¨ he seemed to be scolding her but the wavering in his voice showed how scared he really was.

¨You can be such a fool sometimes Remus, that it shocks me that you were once a Professor. You don´t know me Remus. Not completely. And yet you love me, just like I love you. Tell me how is it impossible if we both do it?¨ she spelled everything out as if she were talking to a four year old. She was doing everything in her power to convince him.

¨Because we can´t be together Nymphadora! After being with the pack of werewolves I´m not the same. Nothing is the same anymore. Dumbledore, the greatest wizard of all times, is dead. The war has started.¨

But Nymphadora Tonks wasn´t listening anymore. She had stopped listening after being remembered of his time with the pack of werewolves; and a new fear was creeping up on her.

¨Were there any females in the pack?¨ she interrupted his gloomy speech and Lupin looked at her startled.

¨I- Uh- Yes, there were a few females in the werewolf pack living underground. I- Why?¨ Remus Lupin, man that he was, was completely out of the loop as to what Tonks was thinking about.

¨Is that why you won´t be with me? Did you meet someone else while being with the pack? A female werewolf? Who understands you and can be with you at the full moon? Is that why you keep rejecting me? Because you really don´t love me? Not anymore? ¨ tears were glistening in her eyes and she had never felt more heartbroken.

¨I- What? No! I- I- I love you Nymphadora. I truly love you. Only you. You are my one and only¨

Tears now rolled down her face as she saw the look of pure love and adoration that he was giving her.

¨Then why won´t you be with me Remus? Why won´t you make me happy? Make _us_ happy?¨ She could feel that she was close to breaking down his walls and he felt it too. He drew one long breath before opening his mouth to say what would be his last defense.

¨Because you deserve a better future. A bright happy future.¨

Nymphadora Tonks smiled and knelt in front of him on the bed. She moved a hair off his face and stroked Lupin´s cheek.

¨That bright happy future I see it too. I see myself being loved by an amazing wonderful man. Married and living happily in a little house that feels perfectly like _home. _I see myself coming home from work to a husband who has dinner served because he knows that I can´t make it myself. I see myself waking up in the morning by a little boy with his sister standing shyly at the door; with a ring glistening on my left hand and my husband stirring next to me. I- I see myself worrying on full moons for that same husband. I see my husband coming home the day after the full moon and scooping up a little girl even though he´s tired and sore just because she´s Daddy´s little girl and he lives to make her happy. I see myself being called Mrs. Lupin. I see myself being _happy_ next to you Remus John Lupin.¨

¨Nymphadora- I- I don´t- I-¨ he was truly speechless now by her words and Tonks knew that she had won.

¨You´re the only one that is allowed to call me Nymphadora, do you know why? ¨

Remus shook his head and waited patiently to hear the reason.

¨Because when you call me Nymphadora I can imagine- if only for one second- that you can´t call me Tonks because it´s not my last name anymore. I want to be yours Remus.¨

Lupin grabbed her by the waist and drew her closer to him. He crashed her body to hers and kissed her neck. A shiver ran down her body at his touch.

¨Nymphadora. Dora. My Dora¨ his husky voice whispered near her ear and Nymphadora Tonks had never felt happier.

Remus then crashed his lips to her in a kiss that literally took her breath away. She grabbed him by the collar and dragged him down with her onto the bed.

They kissed desperately trying to recover lost time, trying to convey all their emotions in the action. Clothes fell on the floor after realizing that kissing wasn´t enough. They needed more because they were so much more than just a kiss. Their love ran deeper than the surface of their lips. Their love consumed them from the inside out and ran through their boiling blood. And a love like that cannot be ignored nor forgotten.

Nymphadora Lyra Tonks opened her eyes on a bright morning in June and saw a ring glistening on the left hand that was in front of her. She gasped and felt the hand on her waist grip her tighter. She turned her head to see Remus John Lupin sleeping peacefully next to her with his arm draped around her. A grin appeared on her face just as her mousy brown hair morphed into a bright bubblegum pink.

**Here we are again.. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It is one of my favorites so far. I´m going to label this story as complete but don´t worry I´ll keep adding one shots into it when I get any.**

**Talking about getting any.. If you have a RemusTonks scene/one shot in your head and you want to see it written feel free to PM me and let me know and I´ll try and write it down to post here, giving a shout out to the one who had the idea. I´ve ran out of ideas for one shots, I´ll be writing a one shot of Teddy´s birth but after that I really don´t know. **

**So any advice, ideas, critics, praise etc etc is welcome.**

**Reviews are highly welcome and totally make my day and give me motivation.**

**Thank you for your time and for reading my fics..**

**xx Dark Orchiid**


	6. What You Don t Know

**_Once again I deliver a chapter to you. I know it´s a bit depressing and everything but it is in a time where they both were struggling and I´m in a depressing mood myself so sorry for the sadness._**

**_I don´t know if you can call this one a songfic but I wrote it with the song ¨What you don´t know¨ by Monrose in mind. It was supposed to be a songfic but I don´t know how to write one so yeah._**

**_The phrases in italics are some of the song lyrics._**

**_Disclamer: The song is absolutely not mine and neither is Harry Potter. I´m not gaining anything from this except satisfaction and peace when fulfilling my passion for writing._**

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**_December 1996_**

Christmas has always been your favorite time of the year. You´re a family girl and Christmas means nights spent in front the fireplace drinking hot chocolate with loved ones. Watching the snow fall and coat your mother´s garden with a white glow so beautiful that it hurts your eyes. And more than anything, unwrapping gifts under the Christmas tree like a child even as you moved out and was no longer little.

But you long for just that, for being little and having no worries. For feeling safe and protected all the time and most importantly feeling loved and cherished.

All of that is now long gone. You´re not a little girl anymore, you´re a fully fledged Ministry auror and now it´s your job to be the protector. And protectors' don´t have an easy job, especially not in the middle of the war.

And how do you feel loved and cherished when the man you love, the only man you´ve ever loved, doesn´t want to be with you? You´re parents keep telling you they love you and Molly goes out of her way to show you how much she cares for you but it´s not enough. It will never be enough. You will always feel incomplete without him.

And it´s Christmas once again but everything is wrong. Instead of your mom´s garden you see snow falling on the houses of Hogsmeade, there are no decorations in the crappy room that you´ve been calling home for six months and more importantly, you´re alone. There´s no Mom or Dad here to cheer you up, no Molly, trying to make you see everything in a more positive light and it´s all your fault because you wanted to be alone.

You told your parents that you were spending Christmas with fellow Order members and you told the Order that you were spending it with your parents. But Molly – just like your mom – smiled at you knowingly with a sad smile that made it pretty obvious that mothers know best.

But now that you´re alone it all comes crashing down to you. It´s Christmas and you´re supposed to be feeling happy but you´ve never felt worse in your entire life.

And it´s not only the burden of being rejected that weighs you down, it´s the pain of this being the first Christmas after Sirius´ death and it hurts because somehow you can still hear him singing Christmas songs around Grimmauld Place. And the necklace he gave you last Christmas is hanging on your neck. And his godson wanders the halls of Hogwarts with such a lost look that it just breaks your heart.

You keep wondering how you´ll survive as war rages on around you and the only thing you manage to do is grow weaker every time. Your powers don´t work anymore and you´re always distracted. Conjuring a patronus is an extremely hard thing for you to do now and when you manage to do so you have to hold back tears when seeing the beautiful wolf that erupts from your wand and heart.

And you need your strength, with Dementors roaming Hogsmeade and your dear aunt Bella wanting to kill you for just existing. The same aunt that would kill your mother, her own sister, just because of who your father is. And you can´t help wonder how did this happen? When did your world and the people in it become so dark? So troubled? Where is the pink hair? Where are the nights, spent drinking and reminiscing old days at Hogwarts? And where are those days? Where are the days where your only worries were passing a test and being asked out to Hogsmeade?

Those days were you yearned for the love of a man even though you weren´t a woman yet. Those days were you didn´t know that love was a thing so powerful that it could make you touch the sky one moment and crash down to earth the other.

And now you realize how deceiving all those romance novels and Muggle films can be. They paint love as such a wonderful thing and heartbreak exists in them but it´s something you survive. And somehow there´s always a happy ending. They don´t tell you that love is more than wonderful, that it´s addictive and heavenly. They leave the part out where you realize that without that one person you just _can´t breathe_.

And if they don´t tell you how excruciating love can be sometimes how do you expect them to show you what heartbreak is? Because even though you´re feeling it yourself you can´t explain it. You just know that it _hurts. _How can you put in words a pain that you didn´t even knew existed? A pain that is constantly there and doesn´t leave you. And you should be used to it now but it feels as if it hurts more every day.

A knock on your door wakes you up from your gloomy thoughts and you approach the door cautiously. You´re still an auror and member of the Order of the Phoenix and a war is still raging on outside.

You open the door slowly with your wand raised but the ¨Wotcher¨ you were going to say doesn´t make it past your lips. Because Remus Lupin is standing in front of you and the last time you saw him was Halloween and he was constantly in danger while being with the pack werewolves and you love him and your heart aches every second for him and now that he´s here you just can´t believe it.

He´s standing there in his shabby clothes with a modest smile on his face and his blue eyes are as warm as ever. His hair is longer than before and you can see more grey strands in it now. He looks tired and beaten up but he still handsome for you and your heart is beating frantically at the sight of him.

He steps forward and whispers a husky ¨Merry Christmas¨ in your ear that is followed with a lingering kiss on your cheek.

¨Merry Christmas for you too Remus, would you like to come in? ¨ your voice sounds breathless and you chastise yourself mentally for letting him affect you like that.

He just nods and enters your room cautiously while you close the door and try to even out your breathing.

¨Molly was under the impression that you were planning to spend Christmas alone even though you said otherwise. I can see now that she was right. I hope this self induced solitude is not my fault Nymphadora¨ His face is set in a calm mask that you know all too well and he avoids looking you in the eye.

¨It doesn´t matter, does it? Even if you knew that it was your fault, even if you let yourself look at me and see what your rejection is doing to me, it still won´t matter won´t it? You won´t come back to me. So why bother Remus? Why bother pretending to care when you obviously don´t care enough to _stop_ this misery?¨

You hadn´t mean it to come out like that, for him to hear the hurt and pain in your voice but you have no control anymore over your emotions.

¨Have you ever thought more deeply about it?¨ his question startles you and you stare at him in confusion.

¨I know that I always say that I´m too old, too poor and too dangerous for you. But have you thought about the consequences of those three things? I´m too _broken _Nymphadora. I was still grieving the loss of James and Lily when I lost Sirius for a second time. I´ve been rejected and insulted so many times that it shouldn´t hurt anymore and yet it still does. I´ve lost everything and I have gained nothing. I´m insecure and distrustful, I don´t love easily and after my calm facade I am a bitter hopeless man. My scars Nymphadora, they run deeper than the surface.¨

You know what he´s trying to do and you want to laugh at his hopeless attempts to make you see sense. He didn´t understand that you already saw sense that he was the one who didn´t _see _and didn´t understand.

¨There are many things that you don´t see and that you don´t know Remus. _What you don't know is that your scars are beautiful. What you don´t know is that your imperfections are what make me whole._ I´m not perfect either Remus, I have imperfections too. A perfect person doesn´t exist, but a perfect couple does. A perfecto couple can only be formed by two imperfect individuals. And you´re the imperfect individual I need. I´ve met a hundred men, all young and whole, but it´s you that makes my heart beat like crazy. And I know that you´re the one _cause I can't speak whenever you're around and it's not like me to hide behind a wall. And it´s not like me to fear the fall. _And you say that I haven´t thought deeply about this but _I have studied the way you walk. _I know that you are a broken man that has suffered that, I see that. But I also see that you walk with dignity and class and that even after all those hardships you never lashed out on anyone. You are a kind, chivalrous, selfless, loving man. And you may be a werewolf, you may be old, poor, dangerous and broken but _I lie awake wishing you were here_ with me every night.¨

You had never opened like this to anyone, never let your feelings out on the open like that and he knows it. He looks at you with widened eyes and you can see that he has trouble breathing. And it hurts you to know that even though you did your best it´s not enough. He´s not ready to let you completely in.

And as you watch him struggle with words you promise yourself that you will break down his walls eventually.

You watch him rush to the door and you don´t stop him because you know that one day he´ll stop running from you.

You settle yourself one again on the windowsill and wipe the lone tear that has made its way down your cheek.

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**I hope you enjoyed this chapter and reviews make me extremely happy and giddy and they let me start acting like a happy Oompa Loompa..**

**With that settled..**

**Toodles :3**

**xx dark orchiid**


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